Article by Oliver GOMM
I had time to think lately as I grow older the same events in life can elicit a drastically different set of feelings or experiences for that very same person.
For example, let’s say a simple, benign task such as taking out the trash – to be exact – from the inside domestic rubbish bin or receptacle to the external rubbish bin on the street for the local council waste disposal vehicle to remove at their predetermined, well-established timetable. It’s a universal occurrence in the suburbs around the world. Somewhere around the world, it’s occurring right now.
Do this when you are 13 years old with a plethora of more fun. It is an engaging activity that one could be doing. Suddenly taking out the trash will be the most tedious, insanely boring task one can imagine. To be completed as quickly as possible with no reward or benefit immediately apparent. Only silent cursing under one’s breath as the task is urgently, excruciatingly completed in order to revert back to the more entertaining things in life as quickly as possible.
Same Events 30 years later
Compare this with the same event,
But 30 years later in life when one could be living in a busy, noisy household, perhaps with 2,3 or 4 children, and a spouse, the same task of taking out the trash brings immense pleasure as you could walk calmly, alone, with measured pace out along the tranquil driveway to the curb or your street enjoying the warm evening, soft bird song bringing the day to a close, barefoot as the asphalt driveway subtly massages the soles of your feet…You get the idea.
How could this be? Is it all in my head?
Taking the trash out is exactly the same, the only thing that changed is the circumstance, or how we have judged the task itself, within a different frame. The frame of a 13-year-old, versus the frame of a 43-year-old.
For example, let’s say you have a visit to the Dentist. Once to be feared as a child, now as an adult to be savored and appreciated getting to lie down looking at the ceiling only accompanied by the meticulous, dental hygienist and my own thoughts. What a pleasure. Is it all in my head?
As a Kid, I would be gripped by fear of asking questions had I been diligent enough with my daily teeth cleaning schedule. Were 2 times enough? or should it be three times? The fluoride, an overpowering strawberry flavor, UUUurrrrrrgh! I may not be able to swallow! I may not be able to breathe! You should not eat or drink for the next 3 hours following, allowing sufficient time for the fluoride to absorb into the teeth sufficiently. What if I have cavities? Must I face the dentist’s drill? Life will not go on!!
Tomorrow never arrives
Now, with the frame changed to that of an adult, It’s an hour or wellness paid most likely by the health insurance.
Once again, is it all in my head? Nothing changed. The event itself was the same with 30 years in between. Just the mindset had changed. I appreciated the time more. Fear had subsided.
Do we judge too much?
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Oliver GOMM
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